CAPITALISM AROUND THE WORLD.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public buys your bull.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

AN ISRAELI CORPORATION
So, there are these two Jewish cows, right?
They open a milk factory, an ice cream store and then sell the movie rights.
They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors.
So, who needs people?

AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION
You have two cows.
That one on the left is kinda cute...

A MEXICAN CORPORATION
You think you have two cows but you don't know what a cow looks like.
You take a nap.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows, none of which belongs to you.
You charge for storing them for others.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You enter into a partnership with an American corporation.
Soon you have 1,000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You turn them loose in the Afghan "countryside" and they both die.
You blame the godless American infidels.

A MALAYSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You declare them 'halal', proceed to eat them and blame the government for not protecting 'Bumis'.

...............and finally..................

A SINGAPOREAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have to buy a $30,000 certificate of entitlement each.
You are taxed for the milk the cows produce.
You are charged for parking the cows and fined for not cleaning up after them.