Wednesday, November 23, 2005


Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny.
If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich!

Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky..... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.
Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Drinking Milk! Posted by Picasa

Aging Posted by Picasa

Sex education Posted by Picasa

Sunday, November 20, 2005


Blame...Let's see if I understand how the world works lately...

If a man cuts his finger off while slicing salami at work,
he blames the restaurant.

If you smoke three packs a day for 40 years and die of
lung cancer, your family blames the tobacco company.

If your neighbor crashes into a tree while driving home
drunk, he blames the bartender.

If your grandchildren are brats without manners,
you blame television.

If your friend is shot by a deranged madman,
you blame the gun manufacturer.

And if a crazed person breaks into the cockpit and tries
to kill the pilot at 35,000 feet, and the passengers
kill him instead, the mother of the deceased blames the airline.

I must have lived too long to understand the world as it
is anymore. So, if I die while my old, wrinkled butt is
parked in front of this computer, I want you to blame
Bill Gates...okay?

Have a Great Day!

Saturday, November 19, 2005

The Men in a Woman's Life!

The Seven Most Important Men In A Woman's Life!

The Doctor
- who tells her to "take off all her clothes."

The Dentist
- who tells her to "open wide."

The Milkman- who asks her
"do you want it in the front or the back?"

The Hairdresser
- who asks her "do you want it teased or blown?"

The Interior Designer
- who tells her "once it's inside, you'll LOVE it!"

The Banker
- who insists to her "if you take it out too soon,
you'll lose interest!"

The Primal Hunter
- who always goes deep into the bush,
always shoots twice, always eats what he shoots,
but keeps telling her "Keep quiet and lie still!"

Friday, November 18, 2005

Wednesday, November 16, 2005


Being a mother

We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family."
"We're taking a survey," she says, half-joking.
"Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations...."

But that is not what I meant at all.

I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her.
I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking "What if that had been MY child?"
That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her.
That when she sees pictures of starving children,
she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is,
becoming a mother will reduce her to primitive level of a
bear protecting her cub.

That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation.
I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood.

She might arrange for child care but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will
think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of her discipline to keep her from running home,
just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma.

That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that rest-room.

However she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.

That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child.

That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years - not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

I want her to know that a Cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks..

I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child.

I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving. I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children's future.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike.
I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is
touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the first time.
I want her to taste the joy that is so real, it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes.

"You'll never regret it," I finally say.

Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter's hand and offer a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.

This blessed gift from God!
Being a Mother.

Please share this with a Mom that you know or all of your
Girlfriends who may someday be moms.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Two Travelling Angels Story!

Two Travelling Angels

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night
in the home of a wealthy family.
The family was rude and refused to let the angels
stay in the mansion's guest room.
Instead the angels were given a small space
in the cold basement.

As they made their bed on the hard floor,
the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it.

When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied,
"Things aren't always what they seem."

The next night the pair came to rest at the house
of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife.
After sharing what little food they had the couple
let the angels sleep in their bed where they could
have a good night's rest.

When the sun came up the next morning the angels
found the farmer and his wife in tears.
Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole
income, lay dead in the field.

The younger angel was infuriated and asked the
older angel how could you have let this happen?

The first man had everything, yet you helped him,
she accused.
The second family had little but was willing to
share everything, and you let the cow die.

"Things aren't always what they seem,"
the older angel replied.

"When we stayed in the basement of the mansion,
I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall.
Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and
unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the
wall so he wouldn't find it."

"Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed,
the angel of death came for his wife. I gave him
the cow instead.
Things aren't always what they seem."

Sometimes that is exactly what happens when things
don't turn out the way they should. If you have
faith, you just need to trust that every out come
is always to your advantage. You just might not
know it until some time later...

............................... Oooo
Some people ............. ( . )
come into our lives ..... ) /
and quickly go... ....... (_/

( . ) ............... Some people
.\ ( ............ become friends
. \_) .......... and stay awhile....

leaving beautiful ........ Oooo
footprints on our ........ ( . )
hearts... ..................... ) /
................................. (_/

( . ) .................. and we are
.\ ( ........................... never
. \_) ........... quite the same
.................. because we have
........................ made a good
.................................. friend!!

Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow a mystery.
Today is a gift.
That's why it's called the present!

I think this is and savor every moment...
This is not a dress rehearsal!

(\ ....... /)
( .\ __ /. )
( .. \()/ .. )
... ( / \ ) ............ TAKE THIS LITTLE ANGEL
..( / \/ \ ) ......... AND KEEP HER CLOSE TO YOU
..... / \ .............. SHE IS YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL
.... ( .. ) ............. SENT TO WATCH OVER YOU

Right Now...

-somebody is thinking of you.
-somebody is caring about you.
-somebody misses you
-somebody wants to talk to you.
-somebody wants to be with you.
-somebody hopes you aren't in trouble.
-somebody is thankful for the support you have provided.
-somebody wants to hold your hand.
-somebody hopes everything turns out all right.
-somebody wants you to be happy.
-somebody wants you to find him/her.
-somebody is celebrating your successes.
-somebody wants to give you a gift.
-somebody thinks that you ARE a gift.
-somebody loves you.
-somebody admires your strength.
-somebody is thinking of you and smiling.
-somebody wants to be your shoulder to cry on.

Never take away anyone's hope.
That may be all they have.

Mother Tongue!

Why it's call our Mother Tongue? Posted by Picasa

The Same BOSS!

Like that WHY get married!? Posted by Picasa

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Men Are Hard To Pleased

Men Are Hard To Pleased

The problems with GUYS:

If u TREAT him nicely, he says u are IN LOVE with him;
If u Don't, he says u are PROUD.

If u DRESS Nicely, he says u are trying to LURE him;
If u Don't, he says u are from KAMPUNG.

If u ARGUE with him, he says u are STUBBORN;
If u keep QUIET, he says u have no BRAINS.

If u are SMARTER than him, he'll lose FACE;
If he's Smarter than u, he is GREAT.

If u don't Love him, he tries to POSSESS u;
If u Love him, he will try to LEAVE u.(very true huh?)

If u don't make love with him, he says u don't Love him;
If u do!! he says u are CHEAP.

If u tell him your PROBLEM, he says u are TROUBLESOME;
If u don't, he says that u don't TRUST him.

If u SCOLD him, u are like a NANNY to him;
If he SCOLDS u, it is because he CARES for u.

If u BREAK your PROMISE, u Cannot be TRUSTED;
If he BREAKS his, he is FORCED to do so.

If u SMOKE, u are BAD girl;

If u do WELL in your exams, he says it's LUCK;
If he does WELL, it's BRAINS.

If u HURT him, u are CRUEL;
If he HURTS u, u are too SENSITIVE!!


If u send this to guys, they will swear that it's not true.......
but if u don't they say u are selfish.....

Send this to guys out there anyway...
Send it to girls also, gives them some laughter...

Saturday, November 05, 2005


ALPHABET AGE...At a certain age we must re-learn the alphabet:
A is for Apple,
and B is for Boat,
That used to be right, But now it won't float!
Age before Beauty is what we once said,
but let's be a bit more realistic instead.

Now A is for arthritis;
B is the bad back,
C is the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.
H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;
I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget! what comes next
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R for reflux, one meal turns to two
S for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T for Tinnitus; there's bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know.
W is for worry, NOW what's going 'round?
X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y is another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest that I still have--in my mind.

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
And I've kept twenty-six 'doctors' fully employed!!!

Friday, November 04, 2005

JAPAN VACATION * October 2005

Mount Fuji of Japan! Posted by Picasa

Wife Wan with Mount Fuji background. Posted by Picasa

Bright Autumn leaves! Posted by Picasa

The Swan Song! Posted by Picasa

Our happy grand niece JaiYi. Posted by Picasa

The Ferrywheel of Tokyo Skyline! Posted by Picasa

A Real Beauty! Posted by Picasa

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Tokyo Disneyland. Posted by Picasa

Merry-go-round fun with JaiYi! Posted by Picasa

Electric Light Parade. Posted by Picasa

Osaka Universal Studio. Posted by Picasa

Wan, WenYi and HuiYi with Popeye and Olive! Posted by Picasa

Roppongi Hills of Tokyo. Posted by Picasa

Mori Tower at Roppongi Hills, Tokyo. Posted by Picasa

Shopping Mall at Mori Tower. Posted by Picasa

Osaka Shimsaibashi...the longest shopping arcade in Japan. Posted by Picasa

The Nite Lights! Posted by Picasa

Happy holiday group...Japanese for the Nite! Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, November 02, 2005


Laughter...The Best Medicine

Behind every successful woman, there is a satisfied man. but behind a satisfied woman, there is an exhausted man.

An Arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
Custom Officer : "Your name pls?"
Arabian : "Abdul Aziz"
Custom Officer : "Sex?"
Arabian : "Six times a week!"
Custom Officer : "No, no, I mean male or female!"
Arabian : "Doesn't matters, sometimes even camel!"

Sex is like a restaurant.
Sometimes you get full satisfactory service,
and sometimes you have to be satisfied with self-service.

What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of playboy and .
Wife on the cover of "missing persons".

Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.

Teacher : What do you want to become?
Little Johnny : Doctor !!
Teacher : Why?
Little Johnny : Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

Woman complaining to dentist : "It's so painful, I'll rather have a baby than have a tooth removed.
Dentist : "Make up your mind soon, I'll adjust the chair accordingly."

Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die, wanted her tombstone to read : BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: " RETURNED UNOPENED "

75 yr. old man got married to a 15 yr. girl.
On their first night both were crying - why???
Coz she didn't know anything, and he had forgotten everything.