Saturday, July 21, 2007

Men's answer !!!



Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !



How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
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Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and
to the select few women who can handle the truth !





AND .....CHEERS!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR THOSE ABOVE 50 YEARS OLD



TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR THOSE ABOVE 50 YEARS OLD



1. Focus on enjoying people,
not on indulging in or accumulating material things.


2. Plan to spend whatever you have saved.
You deserve to enjoy it and the few healthy years you have left.
Travel if you can afford it.
Don't leave anything for your children or loved ones to quarrel about .
By leaving anything,
you may even cause more trouble when you are gone.


3. Live in the here and now,
not in the yesterdays and tomorrows.
It is only today that you can handle.
Yesterday is gone, tomorrow may not even happen.


4. Enjoy your grandchildren (if you are blessed with any)
but don't be their full time baby sitter.
You have no moral obligation to take care of them.
Don't have any guilt about refusing to baby sit anyone's kids,
including your own grand kids.
Your parental obligation is to yourchildren.
After you have raised them into responsible adults,
your duties of child-rearing and babysitting are finished.
Let your children raise their own off-springs.


5. Accept physical weakness, sickness and other physical pains.
It is a part of the aging process.
Enjoy whatever your health can allow.


6. Enjoy what you are and what you have right now.
Stop working hard for what you do not have.
If you do not have them, it's probably too late.


7. Just enjoy your life with your spouse, children,
children, grandchildren and good friends!
People, who truly love you, love you for yourself,
not for what you have.
Anyone who loves you for what you have will just give you misery.


8. Forgive and accept forgiveness.
Forgive yourself and others.
Enjoy peace of mind and peace of soul.


9. Befriend death.
It's a natural part of the life cycle.
Don't be afraid of it.
Death is the beginning of a new and better life.
So, prepare yourself not for death but for a new life with the Almighty.


10. Be at peace with your Creator.
For... He is all you have after you leave this life.