Tuesday, June 30, 2009
# 1 If time doesn't wait for you, don't worry.
Just remove the damn battery from the clock and enjoy life!
# 2 Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are
a good person is like expecting the lion not to attack you
because you are a vegetarian.
Think about it ....!!
# 3 Beauty isn't measured by outer appearance and what
clothes we wear, but what we are inside.
So, try going out without clothes tomorrow and see the admiration!
# 4 Don't walk as if you rule the world. Walk as if you
don't care who rules the world! That's called attitude!
Keep on rocking!
# 5 Only one percent of boys have brains;
the rest have girlfriends! Are you the brainy one?
# 6 All desirable things in life are either illegal,
banned, expensive or married to someone else!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Ghandhism - A Must read for parents
Dr. Arun Gandhi, grandson of Mahatma Gandhi and
founder of the M.K. Gandhi Institute for Nonviolence,
in his June 9 lecture at the University of Puerto Rico,
shared the following story:
I was 16 years old and living with my parents at the
institute my grandfather had founded 18 miles outside
of Durban, South Africa, in the middle of the sugar
plantations. We were deep in the country and had no
neighbors, so my two sisters and I would always look
forward to going to town to visit friends or go to the movies.
One day, my father asked me to drive him to town for an
all-day conference, and I jumped at the chance.
Since I was going to town, my mother gave me a list of
groceries she needed and, since I had all day in town,
my father asked me to take care of several pending chores,
such as getting the car serviced.
When I dropped my father off that morning, he said,
"I will meet you here at 5:00 p.m., and we will go home together."
After hurriedly completing my chores, I went straight
to the nearest movie theatre. I got so engrossed in a
John Wayne double-feature that I forgot the time.
It was 5:30 before I remembered. By the time I ran to
the garage and got the car and hurried to where my
father was waiting for me, it was almost 6:00.
He anxiously asked me, "Why were you late?" I was so
ashamed of telling him I was watching a John Wayne
western movie that I said, "The car wasn't ready,
so I had to wait," not realizing that he had already called the garage.
When he caught me in the lie, he said: "There's
something wrong in the way I brought you up that
didn't give you the confidence to tell me the truth.
In order to figure out where I went wrong with you,
I'm going to walk home 18 miles and think about it."
So, dressed in his suit and dress shoes, he began to walk
home in the dark on mostly unpaved, unlit roads.
I couldn't leave him, so for five-and-a-half hours I drove
behind him, watching my father go through this agony
for a stupid lie that I uttered. I decided then and there
that I was never going to lie again.
I often think about that episode and wonder, if he had
punished me the way we punish our children,
whether I would have learned a lesson at all.
I don't think so. I would have suffered the punishment
and gone on doing the same thing. But this single
non-violent action was so powerful that it is still as if it happened yesterday.
That is the power of non-violence.
Q. What is the difference between a Drug Dealer and a Hooker?
A. A Hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
Q. What's a mixed feeling?
A. When you see your Mother-In-Law backing off a cliff in your new car.
Q. What's the height of conceit?
A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
Q. What's the definition of 'Macho'? A. Jogging home from your vasectomy.
Q. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?
A. A guy will actually search for a golf ball
Q. Do you know how New Zealanders practice safe sex?
A. They spray paint X's on the back of the sheep that kick!
Q.Why is divorce so expensive?
A. Because it's worth it!
Q. What is a Yankee?
A. The same as a quickie, but a Guy can do it alone.
Q. What do Tupperware and a Walrus have in common?
A. They both like a tight seal.
Q. What do a Christmas tree and a Priest have in common?
A. Their balls are just for decoration.
Q.What is the difference between 'ooooooh'and 'aaaaaaah'?
A. About three inches.
Q: What's the difference between purple and pink?
A. The grip.
Q. How do you find a Blind Man in a nudist colony?
A. It's not hard.
Q: What's the difference between a Girlfriend and a Wife?
A: 45 pounds.
Q: What's the difference between a Boyfriend and a Husband?
A: 45 minutes.
Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
Q: What is the difference between medium and rare?
A: Six inches is medium, eight inches is rare.
Q. Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A . They don't have balls to scratch!
Live well, laugh hard, & love dearly!
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
A place where Parents pay and children play
A contract that keeps you poor all your life
so that you can die Rich.
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor
degree and a woman gains her masters..
Future tense of Marriage.
The hydraulic force by which masculine
willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
An art of transferring information from the notes
of the Lecturer to the notes of the students
without passing through "the minds of either"
The confusion of one man multiplied by
the number present.
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece
A place where success comes before work
A place where everybody talks, nobody
listens and everybody disagrees later on
A banker provided by nature
A person no different from the rest
....except that he/she got caught
Someone who is early when you are late
and late when you are early
One who shakes your hand before elections
and your Confidence after
A person who holds your ills by pills,
and kills you by bills.
Books, which people praise,
but do not read.
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
A place where you can relax after your
strenuous home life.
The only time some married men ever get
to open their mouth.
A sign to make others believe that you know
more than you actually do.
Individuals who can do nothing individually
and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
The name men give to their mistakes.
An invention to end all inventions.
A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise