Tuesday, April 08, 2008

New Dicionary!




DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40-ish..............................49
Adventurous...................Slept with all your friends
Athletic............................No boobs
Average looking..............Ugly
Beautiful..........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile............Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure.........On medication
Feminist...........................Fat
Free spirit........................Junkie
Friendship first...............Former slut
Fun...................................Annoying
Gentle...............................Dull
New Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded..................Desperate
Outgoing...........................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate........................Sloppy drunk
Poet...................................Depressive
Professional......................Bitch
Romantic...........................Frigid
Voluptuous........................Very Fat
Large frame......................Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate..............Stalker
Widow................................Murderer


WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = you're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = you better not
8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?


MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay

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