DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

Here's the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle.
In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse.
You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard.
In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.
You didn't have to DO anything.
That's why it's called 'falling' in love...

Falling is love is easy.
It's a passive and spontaneous experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades.
It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship.
Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all),
touch is not always welcome,
and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship,
but if you think about your marriage,
you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage
when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking,
'Did I marry the right person?'
You may begin to desire that experience with someone else.
This is when marriages breakdown.
People blame their spouse for their unhappiness
and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.
Infidelity is the most obvious.
But sometimes people turn to work,
a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage.
It lies within it.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better.
But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.
Because (listen carefully to this):

* THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON;
IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.*

* SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience.
You can't 'find' LASTING love.
You have to 'make' it day in and day out.
That's why we have the expression 'the labor of love' *

It takes time, effort, and energy.
And most importantly, it takes WISDOM,
to make your marriage work.

Love in marriage is indeed a 'decision to a commitment'... Not just a feeling.

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"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet.
Only through experience of trial and suffering
can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired,
and success achieved."

-- Helen Keller
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