Malaysians Vs Singaporeans

Malaysians Vs Singaporeans

A tongue-in-cheek comparison.
Malaysians and Singaporeans do have quite a bit in common. However, if you do pay attention, you might notice some distinguishing traits that might spell the difference between a true blue Malaysian and a die-hard Singaporean.

AT A BUFFET
Malaysian: Eats until he throws up.
Singaporean: Eats until he throws up, and then eats some more before 'tau pau' some home.

LAW & ORDER
Malaysian: Knows his laws, disobeys them and that's fine.
Singaporean: Knows his laws, disobeys them and gets fined

ECONOMY
Malaysian: Trade Union owned by rich, pretentious bastards who don't know the shit about the struggles of the working class.
Singaporean: Trade Union owned by the government.

MANNERS
Malaysian: Cuts a queue, feels guilty, tries to pretend nothing happened
Singaporean: Cuts a queue, feels guilty, tries to justify his motive.
("Actually hor, you know ah, I've been here already for very long, one!")

CUSTOMS
Malaysian: Attempts to smuggle drugs and tobacco into Singapore.
Singaporean: Attempts to smuggle Ramlee Burger into Singapore.

LEADERSHIP
Malaysian: Former Prime Minister retires and goes off to enjoy life while calling the shots from behind the scene.
Singaporean: Former Prime Minister retires... oh wait, no he doesn't.

INFRASTRUCTURE
Malaysian: Builds Twin Towers to symbolise what Malaysia is all about.
Singaporean: Builds Twin Metal-Spiked Balls for the same purpose.

CORRUPTION
Singaporean: Culprit begs policeman for leniency.
Malaysian: Policeman begs culprit for money.

POLITICS
Malaysian: Believes in a one-phantom-one-vote policy.
Singaporean: Lee Kuan Yew votes on behalf of the country.

CENSORSHIP
Singaporean: Allows adult films to be screened so long as patrons are of age and film possesses a certain aesthetic value.
Malaysian: Buy the VCD lah!
(buy one free two)

PATRIOTISM
Malaysian: Sings Malaysian National Anthem in Bahasa Malaysia.
Singaporean: Sings Singaporean National Anthem in Bahasa Malaysia.