Bride and Groom arriving Home for 'Jam Cha'.
Look! Si Siew wearing SOCKS lah!!!
Saturday, June 04, 2005
Thursday, June 02, 2005
For those of us in the workforce...
This equation should be taught in all math classes!
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are
giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone
wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula
that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty
that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close,
and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100%?
What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?
Ever wonder about those people who say they are
giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone
wants you to give over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?
What makes up 100% in life?
Here's a little mathematical formula
that might help you answer these questions:
If:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20
21 22 23 24 25 26
Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.
A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty
that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close,
and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.
The Ten Commandments of Marriage!
COMMANDMENT 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
COMMANDMENT 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
COMMANDMENT 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!
COMMANDMENT 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
COMMANDMENT 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife is.
COMMANDMENT 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
COMMANDMENT 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
COMMANDMENT 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.....
But the law allows only one wife.
COMMANDMENT 9.
Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry....
That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste.
COMMANDMENT 10.
A man is incomplete until he is married....
After that, he is finished.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
COMMANDMENT 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
COMMANDMENT 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!
COMMANDMENT 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
COMMANDMENT 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife,
you can be sure of one thing:
Either the car is new or the wife is.
COMMANDMENT 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
COMMANDMENT 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
COMMANDMENT 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook.....
But the law allows only one wife.
COMMANDMENT 9.
Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry....
That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste.
COMMANDMENT 10.
A man is incomplete until he is married....
After that, he is finished.
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
MOMENTS IN LIFE
There are moments in life when you miss someone
so much that you just want to pick them from
your dreams and hug them for real!
When the door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often times we look so long at the
closed door that we don't see the one,
which has been opened for us.
Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile,
because it takes only a smile to
make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.
Dream what you want to dream;
go where you want to go;
be what you want to be,
because you have only one life
and one chance to do all the things
you want to do.
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human and
enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything;
they just make the most of
everything that comes along their way.
The brightest future will always
be based on a forgotten past;
you can't go forward in life until
you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying
and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end,
you're the one who is smiling and everyone
around you is crying.
so much that you just want to pick them from
your dreams and hug them for real!
When the door of happiness closes, another opens;
but often times we look so long at the
closed door that we don't see the one,
which has been opened for us.
Don't go for looks; they can deceive.
Don't go for wealth; even that fades away.
Go for someone who makes you smile,
because it takes only a smile to
make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.
Dream what you want to dream;
go where you want to go;
be what you want to be,
because you have only one life
and one chance to do all the things
you want to do.
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong,
enough sorrow to keep you human and
enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything;
they just make the most of
everything that comes along their way.
The brightest future will always
be based on a forgotten past;
you can't go forward in life until
you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying
and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end,
you're the one who is smiling and everyone
around you is crying.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Insights on sex!!!
"Having sex is like playing bridge.
If you don't have a good partner,
you'd better have a good hand."
Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances
for a date on Saturday night."
Rodney Dangerfield
"There are a number of mechanical devices
which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
Lynn Lavner
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
Camille Paglia
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation.
The other eight are unimportant."
George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms.
But men can fake a whole relationship."
Sharon Stone
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me
a son-of-a-bi*ch."
Jack Nicholson
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks
or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex,
no matter how bad it is."
Barbara Bush
(Former US First Lady, and you didn't
If you don't have a good partner,
you'd better have a good hand."
Woody Allen
"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances
for a date on Saturday night."
Rodney Dangerfield
"There are a number of mechanical devices
which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women.
Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."
Lynn Lavner
"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
Camille Paglia
"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation.
The other eight are unimportant."
George Burns
"Women might be able to fake orgasms.
But men can fake a whole relationship."
Sharon Stone
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me
a son-of-a-bi*ch."
Jack Nicholson
"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks
or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex,
no matter how bad it is."
Barbara Bush
(Former US First Lady, and you didn't
think Barbara had a sense of humor)
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning
to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams
"Women need a reason to have sex.
Men just need a place."
Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more
comfortable undressing in front of men than they do
undressing in front of other women.
They say that women are too judgmental,
where, of course, men are just grateful."
Robert De Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that
many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms.
They say they cause severe swelling.
So what's the problem?"
Dustin Hoffman
"There's very little advice in men's magazines,
because men think, 'I know what I'm doing.
Just show me somebody naked'."
Jerry Seinfeld
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis,
and only enough blood to run one at a time."
Robin Williams
"It's been so long since I've had sex,
I've forgotten who ties up whom."
Joan Rivers
"Sex is one of the most wholesome,
beautiful and natural experiences money can buy."
Steve Martin
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school
until you get older.
Little things like being spanked every day
by a middle-aged woman.
Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Elmo Phillips
"Bigamy is having one wife too many.
Monogamy is the same."
Oscar Wilde
"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention
of getting married."
George Burns
"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning
to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams
"Women need a reason to have sex.
Men just need a place."
Billy Crystal
"According to a new survey, women say they feel more
comfortable undressing in front of men than they do
undressing in front of other women.
They say that women are too judgmental,
where, of course, men are just grateful."
Robert De Niro
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that
many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms.
They say they cause severe swelling.
So what's the problem?"
Dustin Hoffman
"There's very little advice in men's magazines,
because men think, 'I know what I'm doing.
Just show me somebody naked'."
Jerry Seinfeld
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis,
and only enough blood to run one at a time."
Robin Williams
"It's been so long since I've had sex,
I've forgotten who ties up whom."
Joan Rivers
"Sex is one of the most wholesome,
beautiful and natural experiences money can buy."
Steve Martin
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school
until you get older.
Little things like being spanked every day
by a middle-aged woman.
Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Elmo Phillips
"Bigamy is having one wife too many.
Monogamy is the same."
Oscar Wilde
"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention
of getting married."
George Burns
Saturday, May 28, 2005
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