To all you OWLS (Older Wiser Laughin Souls)
Whether a man winds up with a nest egg, or a goose egg, depends a lot on the kind of chick he marries.
Trouble in marriage often starts when a man gets so busy earnin' his salt that he forgets his sugar.
Too many couples marry for better, or for worse, but not for good.
When a man marries a woman, they become one; but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never turn into an old nag.
On anniversaries, the wise husband always forgets the past - but never the present.
A foolish husband says to his wife, "Honey, you stick to the washin', ironin', cookin' and scrubbin' No wife of mine is gonna work."
The bonds of matrimony are a good investment only when the interest is kept up.
Many girls like to marry a military man - he can cook, sew, and make beds and is in good health, and he's already used to taking orders.
Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way.
I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth....Remember about Algebra.
You know you are getting old, when everything either dries up or leaks.
I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.
Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled and bald, they don't recognize you.
If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.
Have a GREAT day.......and keep Laughing!
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Prayer between the Sexes!
FEMALE PRAYER
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind'?
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
Amen.
***
MALE PRAYER
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac
with huge boobs who owns
a liquor store and a fishing boat.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't care.
Amen.
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind'?
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
Amen.
***
MALE PRAYER
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac
with huge boobs who owns
a liquor store and a fishing boat.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't care.
Amen.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
After 6 weeks....6 months....6 years
Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?
Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??
Gifts:
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living
room.
6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.
Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.
Cooking:
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!
Apology:
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.
6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said??
New Dress:
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?
Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??
6 months : What's so bad about going to Istanbul on a charter plane?
6 years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home???
TV:
6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed,
I can stay up by myself.
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the hell did I propose?
Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I'm home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??
Gifts:
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living
room.
6 years : Here's the money. Buy yourself something.
Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.
Cooking:
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!
Apology:
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don't you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don't do it again.
6 years : What's not to understand about what I just said??
New Dress:
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?
Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound??
6 months : What's so bad about going to Istanbul on a charter plane?
6 years : Travel? What's so bad about staying home???
TV:
6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I'm going to watch ESPN, if you're not in the mood, go to bed,
I can stay up by myself.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Ways to say Someone is Stupid!
ways to say someone is stupid.......
1. 'round the bend
2. 52 cards short of a deck, and playing with the jokers.
3. A few beers short of a six-pack.
4. A few clowns short of a circus.
5. A few crumbs short of a crouton.
6. A few fries short of a happy meal.
7. All foam, no beer.
8. All the marbles aren't round.
9. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
10. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
11. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
12. Antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
13. Asks to have his/her pizza sliced in 4 pieces because he/she can't eat 8.
14. Belt doesn't go through all the loops.
15. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
16. Book is full of blank pages.
17. Brilliant as a black-hole in space.
18. Brilliant as a burnt-out light bulb.
19. Bubble off of plumb.
20. Cheese slid off of his cracker.
21. Chimney's clogged.
22. Christmas tree doesn't have an angel on the top.
23. Cornbread didn't get baked.
24. Couldn't find his/her way out of a wet paper bag.
25. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
26. Dealing with a full deck of jokers.
27. Dealing with a half a deck.
28. Dip stick doesn't quite reach the oil.
29. Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.
30. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
31. Doesn't have both oars in the water.
32. Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.
33. Driving with the engine shut off.
34. Dumb as fertilizer, but not as useful.
35. Dumber than a box of hair.
36. Dumber than a box of rocks.
37. During evolution his ancestors were in the control group.
38. Elevator doesn't reach the top floor.
39. Fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. Florida voter.
40. Forgot to pay the brain bill.
41. From the shallow end of the gene pool.
42. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
43. Gone fishing.
44. Half bubble off.
45. Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
46. Has reached the bottom of the heap and is now digging.
47. Having a blond moment.
48. He/she is depriving a village of an idiot.
49. He/she isn't stupid, he/she's ignorantly endowed.
50. High priority recipient when they start brain transplants.
1. 'round the bend
2. 52 cards short of a deck, and playing with the jokers.
3. A few beers short of a six-pack.
4. A few clowns short of a circus.
5. A few crumbs short of a crouton.
6. A few fries short of a happy meal.
7. All foam, no beer.
8. All the marbles aren't round.
9. Am I getting smart with you? How would you know?
10. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
11. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
12. Antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
13. Asks to have his/her pizza sliced in 4 pieces because he/she can't eat 8.
14. Belt doesn't go through all the loops.
15. Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
16. Book is full of blank pages.
17. Brilliant as a black-hole in space.
18. Brilliant as a burnt-out light bulb.
19. Bubble off of plumb.
20. Cheese slid off of his cracker.
21. Chimney's clogged.
22. Christmas tree doesn't have an angel on the top.
23. Cornbread didn't get baked.
24. Couldn't find his/her way out of a wet paper bag.
25. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
26. Dealing with a full deck of jokers.
27. Dealing with a half a deck.
28. Dip stick doesn't quite reach the oil.
29. Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box.
30. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
31. Doesn't have both oars in the water.
32. Doesn't know much, but leads the league in nostril hair.
33. Driving with the engine shut off.
34. Dumb as fertilizer, but not as useful.
35. Dumber than a box of hair.
36. Dumber than a box of rocks.
37. During evolution his ancestors were in the control group.
38. Elevator doesn't reach the top floor.
39. Fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down. Florida voter.
40. Forgot to pay the brain bill.
41. From the shallow end of the gene pool.
42. Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
43. Gone fishing.
44. Half bubble off.
45. Has an IQ of 2, but it takes 3 to grunt.
46. Has reached the bottom of the heap and is now digging.
47. Having a blond moment.
48. He/she is depriving a village of an idiot.
49. He/she isn't stupid, he/she's ignorantly endowed.
50. High priority recipient when they start brain transplants.
Monday, March 13, 2006
21st Century!
21st Century...
Our communication - Wireless
Our dress - Topless
Our telephone - Cordless
Our cooking - Fireless
Our youth - Jobless
Our food - Fatless
Our labour - Effortless
Our conduct - Worthless
Our relation - Loveless
Our attitude - Careless
Our feelings - Heartless
Our politics - Shameless
Our education - Valueless
Our follies - Countless
Our arguments - Baseless
Our boss - Brainless
Our Job - Thankless
Our Salary - Very less
Our communication - Wireless
Our dress - Topless
Our telephone - Cordless
Our cooking - Fireless
Our youth - Jobless
Our food - Fatless
Our labour - Effortless
Our conduct - Worthless
Our relation - Loveless
Our attitude - Careless
Our feelings - Heartless
Our politics - Shameless
Our education - Valueless
Our follies - Countless
Our arguments - Baseless
Our boss - Brainless
Our Job - Thankless
Our Salary - Very less
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
More Photos of the new LIM FAMILY Chinese Courtyard House in Ipoh.
View of front entrance to new Lim Family Courtyard House in Ipoh.
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