DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish ................................49
Adventurous ......................Slept with everyone
Athletic ..............................No tits
Average looking .................Ugly
Beautiful ............................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile ...............Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure ............On medication
Feminist ............................Fat
Free spirit ..........................Junkie
Friendship first ...................Former slut
Fun ...................................Annoying
New-Age ...........................Body hair in the wrong places
Old-fashioned ....................No BJs
Open-minded ....................Desperate
Outgoing ...........................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate ........................Sloppy drunk
Professional ......................Bitch
Voluptuous .......................Very Fat
Large frame ......................Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate ...............Stalker
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No
2. No = Yes
3. Maybe = No
4. We need = I want..
5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry
6. We need to talk = You're in trouble
7. Sure, go ahead = You better not
8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later
9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!
10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you
ever think about?
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