Due to increasing products liability litigation,
American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's
suggestion that the following warning labels be placed
immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may
lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to
telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may
lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING: - The consumption of alcohol may
be a major factor in getting your ass kicked.
WARNING: - the crumsumpten of alcahol may macke you tihnk you can tipe real gode.
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