THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY !

Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad : It's triplets.
Ugly : You had a vasectomy five years ago.

Good: Your wife's not talking to you.
Bad : She wants a divorce.
Ugly : She's a lawyer.

Good: Your son is finally maturing.
Bad : He's involved with the women next door.
Ugly : So are you.

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room.
Bad : You find several pornn movies hidden there.
Ugly : You're in them.

Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids.
Bad : You can't find your birth control pills.
Ugly : Your daughter borrowed them.

Good: Your husband understands fashion.
Bad : He's a cross-dresser.
Ugly : He looks better than you.

Good: You give the "birds and bees" talk to your daughter.
Bad : She keeps interrupting.
Ugly : With corrections.

Good: Your son is dating someone new.
Bad : It's another man.
Ugly : He's your best friend.

Good: Your daughter got a new job.
Bad : As a hooker.
Ugly : Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do.