Re-learning our ABC
A is for Apple, and B is for Boat,
That used to be right, But now it won't float!
Age before Beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.
Now A's for arthritis;
B's the bad back,
C is the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac?
D is for dental decay and decline,
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.
H is high blood pressure-I'd rather it's low;
I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget what comes next.
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
Just give me a pill and I'll be good as new!
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S for sleepless nights, counting my fears,
T for Tinnitus; there's bells in my ears!
U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy," you know.
W is for worry, NOW what's going 'round?
X is for X-ray, and what might be found.
Y is another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest that I still have in my mind.
I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed,
And I'm keeping 26 doctors fully employed!
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Friday, October 20, 2006
PARENTS-CHILDREN RELATIONS!
Parents-children relations
An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.
The Father asked his Son, "What is this?"
The Son replied "It is a crow".
After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, "What is this?"
The Son said "Father, I have just now told you "It's a crow".
After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time, What is this?"
At this time some ex-pression of irritation was felt in the Son's tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff..
"It's a crow, a crow".
A little after, the Father again asked his Son the 4th time, "What is this?"
This time the Son shouted at his Father,
"Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times 'IT IS A CROW'. Are you not able to understand this?"
A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page.
When the son read it,
the following words were written in the diary :-
"Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window.
My Son asked me 23 times what it was,
and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow.
I hugged him lovingly each time he asked me the same question again and again for 23 times.
I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child".
While the little child asked him 23 times "What is this",
the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed.
So.. If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word,
be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them.
Be considerate to your parents.
From today say this aloud,
"I want to see my parents happy forever.
They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me. They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today".
An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.
The Father asked his Son, "What is this?"
The Son replied "It is a crow".
After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, "What is this?"
The Son said "Father, I have just now told you "It's a crow".
After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time, What is this?"
At this time some ex-pression of irritation was felt in the Son's tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff..
"It's a crow, a crow".
A little after, the Father again asked his Son the 4th time, "What is this?"
This time the Son shouted at his Father,
"Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times 'IT IS A CROW'. Are you not able to understand this?"
A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born. On opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page.
When the son read it,
the following words were written in the diary :-
"Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window.
My Son asked me 23 times what it was,
and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow.
I hugged him lovingly each time he asked me the same question again and again for 23 times.
I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child".
While the little child asked him 23 times "What is this",
the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed.
So.. If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word,
be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them.
Be considerate to your parents.
From today say this aloud,
"I want to see my parents happy forever.
They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me. They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today".
FAMILY!
F A M I L Y
I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I. !
We went on our way and we said goodbye.
But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."
By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."
I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway."
I said, "Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."
FAMILY
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow,
the company that we are working for
could easily replace us in a matter of days.
But the family we left behind will feel the loss !
for the rest of their lives.
And come to think of it,
we pour ourselves more into work
than into our own family,
an unwise investment indeed,
don't you think?
So what is behind the story?!
I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.
He said, "Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you."
We were very polite, this stranger and I. !
We went on our way and we said goodbye.
But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.
Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.
When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.
He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.
While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,
"While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.
Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.
Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.
He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."
By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.
I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.
"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.
I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."
I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway."
I said, "Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."
FAMILY
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow,
the company that we are working for
could easily replace us in a matter of days.
But the family we left behind will feel the loss !
for the rest of their lives.
And come to think of it,
we pour ourselves more into work
than into our own family,
an unwise investment indeed,
don't you think?
So what is behind the story?!
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Eight Words with two Meanings
Eight Words with two Meanings
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male.......... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female....... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male............ Playing cricket without a box.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female...... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male........... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female...... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male.......... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female...... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male........... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female...... An embarrassing by product of indigestion.
Male........... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male........... Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female...... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male........... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female...... Any part under a car's hood.
Male.......... The strap fastener on a woman's bra.
2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female....... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to another.
Male............ Playing cricket without a box.
3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female...... The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's partner.
Male........... Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female...... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male.......... Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female...... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male........... Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female...... An embarrassing by product of indigestion.
Male........... A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female...... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male........... Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female...... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male........... A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Monday, September 25, 2006
Cigarette Story!
The Cigarette story
I am Peter Stuyvesant
I have two friends, Benson and Hedges
I came from the city of Marlboro,
In the Salem high country
I Always carry a Mild Seven
I rode on a White Horse
Going to Kingsway in Kent
It was Lucky Strike I fell in love
With the daughter of Master Duke
Her name was YSL
We got married by Perillys, the priest
We checked in at the house of Dunhill
And booked into room number 555
I laid her on the bed made of Gold Leaf
I played with her two Matterhorns
When I poked in my Rothmans King Size
She cried in delight, "You are a Rough Rider!!!"
You are riding like a mad Camel
When I asked her if she is satisfied
She answered" I want MORE!!!!"
Then suddenly she turned around and asked me
if I want to enter her Gudang Garam.
She said... depan belakang puas,
barulah SAMPOERNA!!!
I am Peter Stuyvesant
I have two friends, Benson and Hedges
I came from the city of Marlboro,
In the Salem high country
I Always carry a Mild Seven
I rode on a White Horse
Going to Kingsway in Kent
It was Lucky Strike I fell in love
With the daughter of Master Duke
Her name was YSL
We got married by Perillys, the priest
We checked in at the house of Dunhill
And booked into room number 555
I laid her on the bed made of Gold Leaf
I played with her two Matterhorns
When I poked in my Rothmans King Size
She cried in delight, "You are a Rough Rider!!!"
You are riding like a mad Camel
When I asked her if she is satisfied
She answered" I want MORE!!!!"
Then suddenly she turned around and asked me
if I want to enter her Gudang Garam.
She said... depan belakang puas,
barulah SAMPOERNA!!!
Monday, September 18, 2006
Saturday, September 16, 2006
AGING!
George Carlin's View on Aging
Do you realize that the only time in our lives
when we like to get old is when we're kids?
If you're less than 10 years old,
you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!"
You're never thirty-six and a half.
You're four and a half, going on five!
That's the key.
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back.
You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!"
You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!
And then the greatest day of your life . You become 21.
Even the words sound like a ceremony . .
YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30.
Oooohh, what happened there?
Makes you sound like bad milk!
He TURNED; we had to throw him out.
There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling.
What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away.
Before you know it, you REACH 50
And your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60.
You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40,
REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70!
After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle;
you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.
And it doesn't end there.
Into the 90's, you start going backwards;
"I Was JUST 92."
Then a strange thing happens.
If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again.
"I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers.
This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctors worry about them.
That is why you pay "them!"
2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning.
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle.
"An idle mind is the devil's workshop."
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud.
Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen.
Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.
Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love,
whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9 Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county;
to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them,
at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
And if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares?
But do share this with someone.
We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!
Have a wonderful day!!!!!!!
Do you realize that the only time in our lives
when we like to get old is when we're kids?
If you're less than 10 years old,
you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!"
You're never thirty-six and a half.
You're four and a half, going on five!
That's the key.
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back.
You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!"
You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16!
And then the greatest day of your life . You become 21.
Even the words sound like a ceremony . .
YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30.
Oooohh, what happened there?
Makes you sound like bad milk!
He TURNED; we had to throw him out.
There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling.
What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away.
Before you know it, you REACH 50
And your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60.
You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40,
REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70!
After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle;
you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime.
And it doesn't end there.
Into the 90's, you start going backwards;
"I Was JUST 92."
Then a strange thing happens.
If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again.
"I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers.
This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctors worry about them.
That is why you pay "them!"
2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning.
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle.
"An idle mind is the devil's workshop."
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud.
Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen.
Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.
Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love,
whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9 Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county;
to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them,
at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
And if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares?
But do share this with someone.
We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!
Have a wonderful day!!!!!!!
Monday, August 28, 2006
The Paradox of our Time in History
The Paradox of our Time in History
The paradox of our time in history is that
The paradox of our time in history is that
we have taller buildings but shorter tempers,
wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.
We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time.
We have more degrees but less sense,
We have more degrees but less sense,
more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems,
more medicine, but less wellness.
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little,
drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little,
watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We've learned how to make a living, but not a life.
We've added years to life not life to years.
We've been all the way to the moon and back,
but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor.
We conquered outer space but not inner space.
We've done larger things, but not better things.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, but learn less.
We plan more, but accomplish less.
We've learned to rush, but not to wait.
We build more computers to hold more information,
to produce more copies than ever,
but we communicate less and less.
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion,
These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion,
big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships.
These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes.
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill.
It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom.
A time when technology can bring this letter to you,
and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete...
Remember, spend some time with your loved ones,
Remember, spend some time with your loved ones,
because they are not going to be around forever.
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe,
Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe,
because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side.
Remember to give a warm hug to the one next to you,
Remember to give a warm hug to the one next to you,
because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent.
Remember to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones,
Remember to say, "I love you" to your partner and your loved ones,
but most of all mean it.
A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you.
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment
Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment
for someday that person will not be there again.
Give time to love, give time to speak!
Give time to love, give time to speak!
And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,
but by the moments that take our breath away.
......George Carlin
......George Carlin
Sunday, August 27, 2006
BEAUTY of MATHS!
The Beauty of Maths.
1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
Brilliant, isn't it?
And finally, take a look at this symmetry:
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=12345678987654321
1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
Brilliant, isn't it?
And finally, take a look at this symmetry:
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=12345678987654321
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