Wonderful Definitions
School:
A place where Papa pays and Son plays.
Life Insurance:
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so
that you can die Rich.
Nurse:
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Divorce:
Future tense of Marriage.
Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of
the students without passing through 'the minds of either'
Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise:
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks
nobody listens and everybody
disagrees later on.
Father:
A banker provided by nature.
Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
Classic:
Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Love:
An itching sensation of the heart that cannot be scratched!
Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be
done together.
Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Thursday, May 06, 2010
Nice story ... Burnt biscuit
Nice story ... Burnt biscuit
Mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. That evening, mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed.
All dad did was reach for his biscuit, smiled at mom and asked me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and ate every bite.
When I got up from the table, I remember hearing mom apologize to dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: Honey, I love burned biscuits.
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"
You know, life is full of imperfect things.....and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else.
What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each others' faults - and choosing to celebrate each others differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.
Because in the end, you are the master of your own life, to be happy or unhappy, to be positive or negative.
We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship , be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship.
Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket - keep it in your own.
So please pass me a biscuit, and yes, the burnt one will do just fine ...
Mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work. That evening, mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed.
All dad did was reach for his biscuit, smiled at mom and asked me how my day was at school. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and ate every bite.
When I got up from the table, I remember hearing mom apologize to dad for burning the biscuits. And I'll never forget what he said: Honey, I love burned biscuits.
Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, "Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides - a little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!"
You know, life is full of imperfect things.....and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else.
What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each others' faults - and choosing to celebrate each others differences - is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.
Because in the end, you are the master of your own life, to be happy or unhappy, to be positive or negative.
We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship , be it a husband-wife or parent-child or friendship.
Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket - keep it in your own.
So please pass me a biscuit, and yes, the burnt one will do just fine ...
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Poem from mom to son
A good message indeed....!
My son came home from school one day,
With a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
To put me in my place.
'Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today,
The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'
It says I need not clean my room,
Don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
Or speak, or what to wear.
I have freedom from religion,
And regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
And I sure don't have to pray.
I can wear earrings if I want,
And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
get tattoos from head to toe.
And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
With the marks on my behind.
Don't you ever touch me,
My body's only for my use,
Not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.
Don't preach about your morals,
Like your Mum did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!
Mum, I have these children's rights,
So you can't influence me,
Or I'll call Children's Services Division,
Better known as 'C.S.D.'
Mum's Reply and Thoughts
Of course my first instinct was
To toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
Made me think a little more.
I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he's messing with a pro.
Next day I took him shopping
At the local Goodwill Store..
I told him, 'Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore.
I've called and checked with C.S.D .
Who said they didn't care.
If I bought you K-Mart shoes
Instead of Nike Airs.
I've canceled that appointment
To take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. Is unconcerned
So I'll decide what's best.'
I said 'No time to stop and eat,
Or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
To make your own flaming lunch.
Just save the raging appetite,
And wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and onions,
A favorite dish of mine.'
He asked 'Can I please rent a movie,
To watch on my VCR?'
'Sorry, but I sold your TV,
For new tires on my car.
I also rented out your room,
You'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. Requires
Just a roof over your head.
Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
Will buy me something neat.
I'm selling off your jet ski,
Dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It's in effect today!
Hey hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
Instead of C.S.D..?'
Send to all people that have teenagers
or have already raised teenagers,
Or have children who will soon be teenagers
or those who will be parents someday
OR ANYONE WHO'D JUST GET A LAUGH.
I love this One!!!
From a MoM(Mean Old Mother.)
After all, mother knows BEST!
A good message indeed....!
My son came home from school one day,
With a smirk upon his face.
He decided he was smart enough,
To put me in my place.
'Guess what I learned in Civics Two,
that's taught by Mr. Wright?
It's all about the laws today,
The 'Children's Bill of Rights.'
It says I need not clean my room,
Don't have to cut my hair
No one can tell me what to think,
Or speak, or what to wear.
I have freedom from religion,
And regardless what you say,
I don't have to bow my head,
And I sure don't have to pray.
I can wear earrings if I want,
And pierce my tongue & nose.
I can read & watch just what I like,
get tattoos from head to toe.
And if you ever spank me,
I'll charge you with a crime.
I'll back up all my charges,
With the marks on my behind.
Don't you ever touch me,
My body's only for my use,
Not for your hugs and kisses,
that's just more child abuse.
Don't preach about your morals,
Like your Mum did to you.
That's nothing more than mind control,
And it's illegal too!
Mum, I have these children's rights,
So you can't influence me,
Or I'll call Children's Services Division,
Better known as 'C.S.D.'
Mum's Reply and Thoughts
Of course my first instinct was
To toss him out the door.
But the chance to teach him a lesson
Made me think a little more.
I mulled it over carefully,
I couldn't let this go.
A smile crept upon my face,
he's messing with a pro.
Next day I took him shopping
At the local Goodwill Store..
I told him, 'Pick out all you want,
there's shirts & pants galore.
I've called and checked with C.S.D .
Who said they didn't care.
If I bought you K-Mart shoes
Instead of Nike Airs.
I've canceled that appointment
To take your driver's test.
The C.S.D. Is unconcerned
So I'll decide what's best.'
I said 'No time to stop and eat,
Or pick up stuff to munch.
And tomorrow you can start to learn
To make your own flaming lunch.
Just save the raging appetite,
And wait till dinner time.
We're having liver and onions,
A favorite dish of mine.'
He asked 'Can I please rent a movie,
To watch on my VCR?'
'Sorry, but I sold your TV,
For new tires on my car.
I also rented out your room,
You'll take the couch instead.
The C.S.D. Requires
Just a roof over your head.
Your clothing won't be trendy now,
I'll choose what we eat.
That allowance that you used to get,
Will buy me something neat.
I'm selling off your jet ski,
Dirt-bike & roller blades.
Check out the 'Parents Bill of Rights',
It's in effect today!
Hey hot shot, are you crying,
Why are you on your knees?
Are you asking God to help you out,
Instead of C.S.D..?'
Send to all people that have teenagers
or have already raised teenagers,
Or have children who will soon be teenagers
or those who will be parents someday
OR ANYONE WHO'D JUST GET A LAUGH.
I love this One!!!
From a MoM(Mean Old Mother.)
After all, mother knows BEST!
Thursday, April 08, 2010
The Ten Commandments of Marriage!
The Ten Commandments of Marriage
Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
Commandment 2.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word
you say, talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!
Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man
speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the
man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one
thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when
they
try to decide which one.
Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something
you said. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish talking.
Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a
good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
Commandment 9.
Every woman wants a man who is handsome, understanding, economical and a
considerate lover, but again, the law allows only one husband.
Commandment 10.
Man is incomplete until he marries. After that, he is finished.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
Commandment 2.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word
you say, talk in your sleep.
Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!
Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man
speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the
man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one
thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.
Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when
they
try to decide which one.
Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something
you said. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish talking.
Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a
good cook. But the law allows only one wife.
Commandment 9.
Every woman wants a man who is handsome, understanding, economical and a
considerate lover, but again, the law allows only one husband.
Commandment 10.
Man is incomplete until he marries. After that, he is finished.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Wednesday, April 07, 2010
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Chanakya's Quotes
|
Friday, February 26, 2010
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Monday, February 08, 2010
Meet Marvin!
Meet Marvin, Men's Answer to Maxine!!!
Men strike back!
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
----------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place
to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing
machine will probably never be able to support you.
-----------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows
Them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
--------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about
to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with
'A man once told me....'
-------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and
your wife is yelling at the front door,
who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that
diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
----------------------------
Women will never be equal to men
Until
they can walk down the street with a bald head
And a beer gut, and still think they are sexy..
---------------------------
Send this to a few good men who need a laugh
and
To the select few women who can handle it!
Monday, February 01, 2010
Saturday, January 23, 2010
One Moment listen please
One Moment listen please
The Moment you are in Tension
You will lose your Attention
Then you are in total Confusion
And you will feel Irritation
Then you will spoil personal Relation
Ultimately, you won't get Co - Operation
Then you will make things Complication
Then your blood pressure may raise Caution
And you may have to take Medication
Instead, understand the Situation
And try to think about the Solution
Many problems will be solved by Discussion
This will work out better in your Profession
Don't think it's my free Suggestion
It's only for your Prevention
If you understand my Intention
You will never come again to Tension
***
Bill Gates
Monday, January 11, 2010
Friday, December 25, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Chiang Family House in Quanzhou, China * November 2009
|
in Quanzhou, China *** Visit to Our Mother's Chiang Family house in Quanzhou during Family Trip to China. November 2009 |
***
Click on above Photo to go to Picasa Photo Album
and
Click 'Slideshow' to see Photo Album.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Family Trip to China * November 2009
The Powerful Dragon in China!
Family Group at our Mother's Chiang Family House in Quanzhou, China.
The Chiang Family House in Quanzhou, China.
The Lim Family House in Anxi, Quanzhou.
The Lim Ancestral Home in Anxi, Quanzhou, China.Sunday, November 01, 2009
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