Married life is full of excitement and frustration.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.
It is true that love is blind but marriage is definitely an eye-opener.
Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends.
You order what you want,
and when you see what the other fellow has,
you wish you had ordered that.
It's true that all men are born free and equal,
but some of them get married!
There was this man who muttered a few words in the church
and found himself married.
A year later he muttered something in his sleep
and found himself divorced.
A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking;
the husband gives and the wife takes.
Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.
Son: Is it true? Dad, I heard that in ancient China,
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, everywhere!
Monday, July 25, 2005
Saturday, July 23, 2005
Some Laws
Here are a few very important laws that one should be aware of:
Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch.
Anthony's Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Kovac's Conundrum:
When you dial a wrong number,
you never get an engaged one.
Cannon's Karmic Law:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,
the next morning you will have a flat tire.
O'Brien's Variation Law:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Bell's Theorem:
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Ruby's Principle of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases
when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Willoughby's Law:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work,
it will.
Zadra's Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Breda's Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Owen's Law:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Howden's Law:
You remember you have to mail a letter only when you're near the mailbox
Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch.
Anthony's Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Kovac's Conundrum:
When you dial a wrong number,
you never get an engaged one.
Cannon's Karmic Law:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,
the next morning you will have a flat tire.
O'Brien's Variation Law:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
Bell's Theorem:
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Ruby's Principle of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases
when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Willoughby's Law:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work,
it will.
Zadra's Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Breda's Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Owen's Law:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Howden's Law:
You remember you have to mail a letter only when you're near the mailbox
Men are like....!!
Men are like....
1. Men are like Laxatives ... They irritate the shit out of you.
2. Men are like Bananas ... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like Weather ... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like Blenders ... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like Commercials ... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like Government Bonds ... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like Mascara ... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like Popcorn ... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms ... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots ... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
1. Men are like Laxatives ... They irritate the shit out of you.
2. Men are like Bananas ... The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like Weather ... Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like Blenders ... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like Commercials ... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.
8. Men are like Government Bonds ... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like Mascara ... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like Popcorn ... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms ... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like Lava Lamps ... Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots ... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.
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